If you are the victim of timeshare fraud, you shouldn’t beat yourself up for falling in the timeshare fraud trap. The best thing is to see how you can attack the aftermath of timeshare fraud with the help of Wesley Financial Group.
In an article from Success.com, Patty Onderko takes a look at rumination and what we can do about it. Onderko begins, “If you’re prone to rehashing, overthinking, fixating, obsessing, dwelling or whatever you like to call it—psychology experts call it ruminating—you probably have many such incidents branded on your brain… Whatever the stuff is that keeps you from falling asleep at night or wakes you up in the middle of it. The things that pop up in your thoughts when you are taking a walk or washing the dishes and make you utter harsh comments—I’m so stupid! or What was I thinking? or Everyone must hate me!
Rumination, as defined by the late Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, Ph.D., the Yale University psychology professor who pioneered research in this field, is the compulsively focused attention on the symptoms of one’s distress and on its possible causes and consequences as opposed to its solutions. In layman’s terms, it means you can’t stop thinking about the various aspects of a situation that are upsetting.” (Onderko, 2016).
If you have been taken for a ride by a timeshare company, you may be ruminating on what happened. But you shouldn’t beat yourself up over falling for a timeshare trap. Instead, take action by reaching out to Wesley Financial Group. Lawsuit threat or otherwise, we won’t let any nay-sayers keep us down and neither should you. We continue to do the right thing for people who have been taken advantage of, and we won’t stop until timeshare fraud ceases to exist.
Onderko states, “Rumination involves not just noticing the negatives, but continuously experiencing them. Whether you get stuck on the big stuff (a divorce) or the small (that lame joke you made), dwelling ensures that you live in those real or perceived moments of weakness indefinitely. “Ruminating is debilitating,” says Erin Olivo, Ph.D., assistant professor of medical psychology at Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons in New York City and author of Wise Mind Living: Master Your Emotions, Transform Your Life. “Our emotions rise and fall relatively quickly under normal circumstances. But ruminating re-triggers all those same emotions—shame, sadness, anger—over and over. From your brain’s point of view, there is no difference emotionally between experiencing the negative event and thinking about the negative event. And when those negative emotions are elevated on a chronic basis, that’s stress,” she explains. Stress, of course, can lead to depression and anxiety disorders. The studies of Nolen-Hoeksema found that ruminative thinking often precedes depressive episodes and makes them last longer.” (Onderko, 2016).
Nevertheless, Onderko makes another point. She states, “Before you start ruminating about your rumination, keep in mind that dwelling on past events is a normal and adaptive part of being human. Judson Brewer, M.D. and Ph.D., associate professor of medicine and psychiatry at the University of Massachusetts Medical School, uses MRI neuro-imaging to investigate the effect of mindfulness training on the brains of his study participants. When he asked his control-group participants to simply relax and not think about anything in particular, scans showed that their brains supposedly at rest were actually worrying and ruminating. With no immediate stimuli, threats or tasks, the brain wanders to past and future events, looking for problems.
In the rare moments our earliest ancestors might have had for peaceful alone time, this “default mode network” as neuroscientists call it, might have made the difference between life and death: She won’t eat those purple berries again, for example, and she will make a loud noise the next time she spots a tiger. Introspection and rehashing remain essential for problem-solving and self-improvement today, too. In fact, self-reflection is associated with lower depression levels over time in longitudinal studies.” (Onderko, 2016). It is interesting to consider what started our ruminating in the first place. However, as we can see, rumination can be negative. If you’ve been taken advantage of by a timeshare company, stop ruminating about what you could have done to avoid it. Instead, consider what you can do to deal with the aftermath of timeshare fraud. Why not contact someone for help? Consider reaching out to Wesley Financial Group. Lawsuit or otherwise won’t frighten us from helping those who are the victims of timeshare fraud. We can help you cancel your timeshare contract.
Onderko’s article further discusses and provides examples of how to address rumination and do something about it. The article continues, “We can stop taking the universe so personally,” Jon Kabat-Zinn, the mindfulness pioneer who created the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction program at the University of Massachusetts Medical School in 1979, has famously said. “Mindfulness is an antidote to rumination,” Neff says. Why? Because rumination causes stress, which mindfulness has been shown in multiple studies to reduce.
With stress reduction comes less depression. In one surprising 2010 study, mindfulness training was found to be just as effective as antidepressant medication, and better than a placebo treatment, in protecting those who had experienced depressive symptoms in the past from a relapse of depression. “Being mindful and present allows us to escape our fixation on the past and the future and be open to what is,” Neff says…In general, though, mindfulness involves paying close attention to your breathing, noticing what you’re sensing—the smell of the rain, the feel of the cold wind on your arms, the taste of your toothpaste in your mouth—in any given moment and appreciating the things, people or experiences that make your life better moment by moment.
When you find yourself caught up in the past, bring yourself back to the present by taking five minutes to sit still and observe all the sights, sounds, smells and sensations around you, Neff recommends. Most pointedly, you might also find reassurance in the mindfulness tenet that your thoughts and ideas don’t define you. You may repeatedly tell yourself you were dumb to try to write a book, say, but that doesn’t mean you are. Your thoughts are just passing breezes, the philosophy goes. If you choose to believe that, it’s much harder to get caught in a web of negative I-should-have-done-something-different thinking. Even without that component, though, practicing mindfulness is still a proven brooding buster.” (Onderko, 2016). Again, it is important to stay mindful, and be good to yourself. Don’t beat yourself up for something that you couldn’t avoid.
Onderko continues, “So when you find yourself wallowing, Neff recommends trying a self-compassion exercise: Put your hands over your heart and say kind things to yourself in a gentle tone. Neff admits that it may feel silly and embarrassing (remember Stuart “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!” Smalley from Saturday Night Live?) but says its effectiveness is rooted in biology and proven by over a decade’s worth of research. “Physical touch, especially warm, gentle touch, along with soothing vocalizations taps into our bodies’ mammalian caregiving system and releases oxytocin [the “love” hormone that eases anxiety and promotes empathy and bonding],” she says. “So even if your mind thinks it’s ridiculous, your body will feel safer and less threatened.” Think of how you would speak to a close friend or a child, Neff advises, and address yourself with no less consideration.
If you are the victim of timeshare fraud, reach out to us at Wesley Financial Group. Lawsuit threats won’t stop us from helping victims of timeshare fraud cancel their timeshare contracts. If we don’t think we can help you in your particular situation, we will let you know. Nevertheless, we have helped numerous people overcome timeshare fraud. We have a 100% proven success rate. Let us help you beat timeshare fraud. Stop ruminating. Give us a call.
Onderko, Patty. (March 22, 2016). How to Break the Pattern of Dwelling on Past Mistakes.
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